


All I wanted was you

by Eve1978



Category: Sebastian Stan - Fandom
Genre: Dirty Talk, Drunken Flirting, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Masturbation, University student Seb, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-29
Updated: 2017-12-12
Packaged: 2019-01-26 01:55:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12546216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eve1978/pseuds/Eve1978
Summary: Your roommate Sebastian is the typical frat boy, overly confident and constantly partying and flirting with any girl that isn’t you. He stands for everything you hate so why can’t you stop that silly crush you have on him?Sebastian knows you two have nothing in common, you like books and staying at home and you never even drink or go to any of the parties on campus. You’re nothing like the girls he usually falls for so why can’t he stop that stupid crush he has on you?





	1. Chapter 1

His eyes traveled down your body, slowly, taking in every part. You were distractedly playing with your hair while you searched for a page in your book. 

Your eyes, as always, hidden behind your glasses. He couldn’t make them out very clearly right now but it didn’t matter, he knew by heart how beautiful they were and how lost he could get in them.

His gaze lingered on your lips. You were wearing the dark pink lipstick again, the one that made your mouth look even more kissable. He loved that color on you and to make matters worse you were biting your bottom lip the way you always did when you were concentrating on your reading, unaware that you were even doing it.  
It turned him on beyond reason.

You hadn’t looked at him since you sat down, book in one hand and a large mug filled with coffee in the other. Your head was buried into the book that was now lying open on your lap while you slowly sipped from your coffee.

Sebastian’s eyes roamed further down, over your worn out Star Wars t-shirt and your ripped jeans shorts to your bare legs. Every inch of you was perfect to him and the best thing was you didn’t realize any of it.

You never even noticed when guys were interested in you, nor did you seem to care particularly. You were always too busy studying or hanging out with your friends, dating never seemed to be on your agenda. 

Your lack of interest in men both intrigued and frustrated him, because after two years of living together he still had no idea how to get you to notice him.

He leaned back against the couch and stretched his legs, deliberately brushing your leg with his foot in the process.

‘Sebastian,’ you sighed, annoyed at the intrusion,’ do you have to take up every inch of the couch? I can’t make myself any smaller, you know.’

Your eyes never left your book and he looked away with a little disappointed smile.

You refused to look at him and indulge in his usual cry for attention, which only came when he was bored and there were no other girls around to occupy himself with. Then he suddenly had eyes for you.

You’d known guys like him all your life, always the center of attention and perfectly aware of the effect they had on girls.  
Sebastian was definitely aware and he was no stranger to using those charms for his own benefit.

Why you picked him to be your roommate was still a mystery to everyone, including yourself.

You remembered meeting him for the first time. He had seemed rather quiet, shy even, but he was also friendly and funny and most importantly, he made you feel comfortable.   
Of course he had been playing you right from the start to get exactly what he wanted, which in this case was for you to pick him out of the other roommate candidates. And you had fallen for it like an idiot.

The shy guy disappeared soon after he moved in with you. You began to see more arrogance in him and you had seen more girls visit the apartment than ever before. Most of them only stayed the one night and were then never seen again.

But it wasn’t all bad, Sebastian did his part to keep the apartment clean and your fridge was always stocked with food, usually even the food you liked. He left you alone pretty much most of the time and didn’t interfere with your life.

You hated to admit it but apart from his annoying womanizing habits he was the perfect roommate.

You lifted your eyes when he stood up from the couch.

‘So, are you coming to Tim’s party tonight?’ he walked past you towards the kitchen.

‘What do you think?’ you sighed, putting your attention back on your book.

‘You should come, you can’t study all the time. It’s Friday night, have some fun for a change.’

‘Almost drinking myself into a coma and not remembering what, or more importantly who, I ended up in bed with the next morning does not qualify as fun for me,’ you answered with a snark.

‘So that’s a no then?’ he gave you a little grin while he put on his shoes.

‘It’s very doubtful.’

‘You’re missing out on an important part of the college experience, you know,’ he added.

‘So are you, the part where you actually study.’

He laughed,’ Hey, I study, I’m just a quick learner.’

‘Well, aren’t you blessed with all the good genes, we can’t all be that lucky.’

Sebastian opened his mouth to ask what you meant by all the good genes but you were still staring at your book and ignoring him so he swallowed his words and just headed for the door.

‘I’ll see you tomorrow then?’ he said before heading out.

‘You’d better not wake me when your drunk ass stumbles home in the middle of the night,’ you warned him.

‘I’m not making promises I can’t keep,’ he grinned and was out of the door.

It was only when he was gone that you put down your book and leaned back into the couch with a deep sigh.

You hated him, from his fluffy dark hair to that sexy little smirk and those blue innocent angel eyes.   
But most of all you hated how deep down inside you didn’t hate him at all.

Undoubtedly studying was important to you, but half of the time you used your books as a barrier to keep him from invading your safe space and to create some much needed distance between the both of you.

The ugly truth was you wanted nothing more than to party with him, get shit faced drunk and be that girl he couldn’t keep his hands off all night.

But you weren’t that girl, that’s another thing you’ve known all your life. Girls like you didn’t get picked by guys like him. 

 

***

 

You lied awake several hours that night unable to take your mind off the stupid party and Sebastian. Just as you had finally managed to fall asleep you were woken up by a noise in the apartment.

You heard movement in the other room, Sebastian’s room. 

It started out as muffled giggling but then it changed and you could clearly hear a girl moaning. While at first it was pretty quiet her voice soon got louder and more urgent, and then you heard the bed squeaking.

So far for getting any more sleep tonight.

You pulled your pillow over your ears to try and block the sound but it was useless. And just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse you heard the one sound that really killed you: Sebastian’s deep male voice moaning in ecstasy.

His voice was so loud it seemed to come from inside your room, it was obvious he wasn’t trying to be quiet.

‘Oh god!’ he whimpered,’ god yes…oh that feels so fucking good, don’t stop…please don’t stop, baby!’

Oh please for the love of god stop.

You let out a frustrated sigh and turned on your side. If you didn’t hate him already…

You wanted to slap him but even more so you just wanted him to stop making those incredibly sexy sounds. You pushed your legs together, ignoring the itch that had crawled its way between your legs.

This wasn’t the first time one of Sebastian’s wild nights woke you up.

You still got flustered thinking about that one night where you hadn’t been able to ignore his cries of pleasure and your hand had drifted off between your legs.

You remembered how close you’d gotten to your release several times that night, how you’d kept denying yourself the pleasure, waiting until you could hear it in his voice too. Waiting for that exact moment when you knew he was right there with you and you could push yourself over the edge with him. 

Your orgasm started right before his and lasted some time after.

It had been the most intense climax you’d had in a very long time and in a strange, obscene way it made you feel so much closer to him.

But you hadn’t been able to look him in the eyes for several weeks after that. You’d felt so vulnerable and embarrassed in his presence you never wanted to let that happen again.

You grabbed your Iphone from the nightstand and put in your earphones before you turned the music up, blocking all sounds coming from the other room. 

You might not get any more sleep tonight but at least you wouldn’t have to listen to Sebastian fucking yet another lucky girl that wasn’t you.

 

***

 

You were having breakfast the next morning when Sebastian stepped out of his room and entered the kitchen with tired eyes and a satisfied smirk on his face.

‘Good morning, did we keep you up last night?’ he asked the question so casually you wanted to kick him, and he was actually waiting for you to give him a serious answer.

‘I’m surprised you didn’t wake the whole building the way you two were going at it,’ you tried to sound annoyed rather than jealous and you took another sip from your tea.

‘I’m sorry,’ he poured himself a glass of orange juice and you noticed a little blush creeping up on his cheeks,’ I was drunk, I didn’t plan on taking her home, it just sort of happened…she’ll be out of here in a couple of minutes.’

‘It’s fine, Seb, just try and keep it down next time,’ you stood up and put your empty cup in the sink,’ And at least give the girl breakfast before you kick her out, I think she at least deserves that, no?’

‘Yeah, I guess.’

He seemed to be waiting for another reaction from you but you weren’t going to give him more than you had already. And you definitely didn’t plan on staying until the object of his temporary affection woke up.

‘I gotta run, I’m late,’ you lied and grabbed your bag,’ Do me a favour and don’t bring anyone home tonight, okay, I really need to sleep.’

‘Don’t worry, you won’t be seeing her again.’

You shook your head in a smile and rolled your eyes,’ Shocker. Tell me, how are there still girls out there you haven’t done yet?’

‘It’s a big campus,’ he said with that charming mischievous smile of his,’ and another party every night, Tracy’s place tonight. Are you coming?’

You were already shaking your head.

‘Just once?’ he then asked and he leaned against the kitchen counter and let his eyes find yours,’ What’s the worst that could happen?’

You opened your mouth to speak but he raised his hand to stop you,’ It was a rhetorical question, don’t answer that.’

‘You sure? Because I have a few scenarios for you and none of them end particularly well for me.’

He rolled his eyes but smiled affectionately.

‘Why don’t you just forget about everything that could go wrong and let loose for one night, huh? Just come to one party with me, please?’

You were surprised by the lack of scoff in his voice and the sudden softness in his eyes. For a second there it sounded like he was actually asking you to go with him and your heart leapt at the possibility.

But you knew he was only challenging you the way he always did, trying to get you to do something you wouldn’t normally do so he could keep teasing you about it afterwards.

‘I’m actually going out with Mel tonight,’ you said, which wasn’t a lie,’ we’re going to a movie and then grab a bite to eat.’

‘You could come by after the movie, party only starts around midnight anyway,’ he suggested,’ I’ve seen your friend Mel at these parties before, I’m sure she’d be up for it it.’

You stayed quiet and he smiled knowing he just managed to plant a seed of doubt in your mind.

‘Come on, you know you want to,’ he teased and he moved from the kitchen counter to step closer to you, keeping his eyes locked with yours.

You felt your cheeks burn up under his intense gaze but just as he was about to speak again the door to his bedroom opened and a gorgeous blonde head popped out of the doorway. She was beautiful and skinny and wearing nothing but Sebastian’s shirt.

‘Sebby, are you coming back to bed?’ she asked with a cheeky grin and she bit her lip while she looked at him, completely ignoring you were even standing there.

‘I’ll be there in a minute,’ Seb answered her but still kept his eyes on yours.

You unlocked your gaze and shook your head in a little disapproving smile.

‘I’m sorry,’ he muttered.

‘Well, you don’t want to keep her waiting, Sebby.’

He smiled a little embarrassed,’ Please don’t call me that. So…you’ll be at the party tonight?’

You stepped away from him to grab your bag. Whatever little hope you had just felt it was shattered even faster than it had appeared and you were a little angry at yourself for letting your guard down that easily.

You shook your head and sighed,’ I really wouldn’t count on it.’

Sebastian’s heart sank when he watched you walk through the door. He could have sworn he saw a tiny crack in your wall but it was gone before he could be sure it had even been there.

‘Sebby?’ an eager voice called him from inside his bedroom.

He hesitated for a moment, torn between following his heart or ignoring it. 

Was he a fool for holding onto this stupid crush on a girl who would never want him when there was a girl right there in his bed who was actually interested in him and willing to give him all the pleasures he craved? 

He could flirt with you and tease you for as long as he saw fit but at the end of the day he knew the truth. Girls like you didn’t pick guys like him. It would never lead anywhere, you just weren’t interested.

‘Oh, screw it,’ he sighed and pushed you out of his mind before putting on a smile and heading for his bedroom,’ I’m coming, sweetheart, you’d better be naked when I open that door.’


	2. Chapter 2

The road home felt like an obstacle course. For some reason putting one foot in front of the other seemed like the biggest challenge and you were failing every step. People on the sidewalk actually moved away from you, that’s how drunk you must have looked.

You should have taken Mel up on her offer to walk you home.

Your head felt light and your eyes seemed to have trouble focussing. And when exactly did the ground start moving? 

Fuck, you hadn’t felt nearly this drunk at the party earlier.

It could be called a small miracle that you made it to your building in one piece without falling down once. You were pulling yourself up by the railing of the staircase, slowly making your way up the stairs to your flat.

You clung to the door handle to keep your balance while you tried to put your key in the lock. After about seven unsuccessful tries the key finally clicked into the lock and you started laughing uncontrollably.

See, there was a reason you never drank and this was exactly it.

You were no longer in control of your body, or your mind apparently.

The night had started out as planned, you and Mel had a nice dinner and went to see a movie afterwards. You had chatted and laughed and you actually managed to have some fun without thinking about Sebastian too much.

But at some point during the night you made the mistake of mentioning the party to Mel and of course she insisted on going and taking you with her.

She was always good in convincing you things were a good idea when you knew deep down they were most likely going to end in failure.

Mel insisted you needed to experience one of these parties for yourself, just to see what happened. After all it was just a party and really what was the worst that could happen?

Like anyone who ever asked themselves that question you were about to find out.

You had found Sebastian five minutes after arriving at the party, standing at the bar surrounded by a small army of girls. No, not just surrounded, they were literally hanging on his every word and every body part they could grab.   
The big grin on his stupid face made it clear he was enjoying every second of it.

Within five minutes he already had you feeling like a complete idiot for even being there. And like an even bigger idiot for expecting anything else from him. 

You knew what happened at these parties and you knew Sebastian. None of this should have come as a surprise to you. You wanted to kick yourself for believing even for one second that he was interested in you.

Of course he wasn’t, the type he was interested in was hanging around his arm. Tall, skinny, chatty and gorgeous. 

You should have just admitted defeat right then and there and gone straight home but instead you chose that night to start acting like a normal college student, seeking comfort in the only solution for every problem: alcohol.

Mel being the supportive friend that she was did not try to stop you but instead drank with you under the motto any reason to drink is a good reason.

With every sip of alcohol you felt your anger sink a little bit further away, encouraging you to have another, and another, and another.

The party had been a bad idea right from the start, but at least now you knew. Now you could go back to how things were before, burying your feelings so deep Sebastian could never ever find them.

You would never give him that power again, not after the way he hurt you tonight. You were done with him, it was time to move on once and for all. He was your roommate and that’s all he’d ever be. It was silly to want more with a guy like him, he would never see you that way.

You stumbled into the apartment and barely made it as far as the living room before you crashed down onto the couch. It took you less than 5 minutes to doze off into a restless sleep.

 

***

 

Sebastian opened the front door as quietly as he could when he sneaked in later that night. Given the mood you were in that morning he wanted to avoid waking you up again.

The party wasn’t as great as he had hoped. He had flirted his way through the night and chatted with a bunch of girls but none of them managed to hold his attention for very long.   
He knew it had been wishful thinking but he had still hoped to see you there and much to his own surprise he felt really disappointed when you didn’t show.

He quietly stepped into the living room when he found you lying on the couch.

‘What the hell?’ he whispered surprised.

You were lying face down into the cushions with your one leg still half on the floor, as if you had just walked in and fell into a sudden deep sleep right there.

If this was anybody else Sebastian would assume you were just drunk off your ass. But this was you, you didn’t stay out late to party and you definitely didn’t get drunk.

He questioned whether to wake you or just let you sleep and go to bed. After some hesitation he decided he couldn’t just leave you lying there in such an uncomfortable position, you would be completely sore in the morning.

He walked over to you and carefully tapped your shoulder while he whispered your name.

You moaned softly in your sleep and he abruptly pulled his hand away.

Fuck, your moan was like music to his ears and it made his cock twitch.

He took a deep sigh before he tried again, a little louder this time while he gently touched your shoulder,’ Hey, wake up, come on, baby, wake up.’

He bit his lip when he realised what he just called you but you were still completely out of it.  
He leaned down on one knee and shook you a little harder but you still didn’t move an inch.

‘Shit,’ he let himself sink down on the carpet right next to you, his face now at level with yours. You seemed to be sleeping peacefully and for a moment he forget his plan to wake you up.

He just allowed himself to stare at your face and he carefully placed a few locks of your hair behind your ear. His thumb slowly caressed your cheek in the process and you let out another quiet moan.

Your reaction to his touch made him want to keep touching you but he knew he was crossing a line here.

He had to wake you up, it was the only right thing to do.

His fingers were absentmindedly stroking your neck, enjoying the little sounds escaping your mouth. Every little whimper was arousing him a little bit more.

His jeans was starting to feel very uncomfortable. You hadn’t even touched him and he was as hard as a rock, it was pathetic.

Not to mention wrong, so very wrong.

‘Hmmmm,’ you moaned in a little smile,’ Don’t stop.’

Sebastian panicked and reacted by shaking your shoulder harder than he intended, forcing you out of your sleep.

With a startled cry you jumped up in the couch, immediately grabbing your head as you sat up,’ Awww! Fuck…what? How…Seb?’

‘You’re awake.’

‘Yes, it’s unfortunate,’ you mumbled and pushed your fingers against your forehead,’ Fuck, my head hurts.’

He stood up and took a seat next to you on the couch,’ How much did you drink tonight?’The look on his face was both surprised and amused.

‘A little,’ you confessed while you pushed your hair back and closed your eyes in a deep sigh,’ and then a little more.’

‘Where were you?’ he asked.

‘At the party,’ you leaned against the back of the couch and pulled your legs up under you.

‘You were at the party? Why didn’t you come say hi?’

‘I don’t remember seeing you there,’ you muttered confused.

You did remember seeing him there but somehow the details of it were all a bit blurry.

‘Do you remember anything at all?’ Sebastian asked with a grin.

You shook your head and then suddenly, out of the blue, you started laughing again, covering your mouth with your hand like a giggly schoolgirl.

‘Oh my god, you are so fucking drunk!’ Sebastian gave you a fake judgmental look but he couldn’t keep the smile off his face.

‘I am so fucking drunk,’ you confessed.

‘Wow, little miss perfect is wasted, I thought I’d never see the day, aren’t you good girls supposed to be above all that?’

‘Ugh, please don’t call me that.’

‘What? Little miss perfect?’

‘A good girl,’ you spit out the words like venom,’ I’m not always a good girl, you don’t know me at all, Sebastian.’

When you looked up again your eyes met his and he was staring at you. You couldn’t look away and neither could he.

He had never seen that look in your eyes before, suddenly so dark and filled with lust. He knew it was just the effect of the alcohol but it turned him on anyway. You were licking your lips and he couldn’t take his eyes off you.

‘Maybe you should give me a chance to get to know you then,’ he spoke softly.

You carefully inched closer to him on the couch and he held his breath when you put one leg over his lap and straddled him.

‘What are you doing?’ his voice was shaky.

You kept your eyes locked with his while you sank down on his lap and you couldn’t help but bite your lip when you felt his erection against your inner thigh.

Sebastian’s hands came to rest on your waist and his voice was suddenly filled with nerves,’ What are you doing?’

You pulled your dress up a little higher and slowly rolled your hips against him.

‘Fuck,’ he involuntarily gripped your waist tighter and moaned softly.

You could feel his erection pushing up against your panties now, right where you wanted him.

You brought your lips right next to his ear,’ You have no idea, do you? You have no idea of the things I wanna do to you.’

You bit his earlobe and he pushed his hips up to meet yours, a little whimper in the back of his throat.

‘You’re so drunk,’ he leaned his face against yours and forced himself to keep his body still, he didn’t want to encourage you but it was really fucking hard when you made him feel this good,’ You don’t know what you’re doing, we can’t…’

Your hands grabbed his shirt to keep yourself steady while you slowly moved up and down his length, your soaked panties leaving a wet stain on his jeans.

‘Fuck, baby, stop, please,’ he tried his best to hold you still, fighting between what he knew he should be doing and what he wanted to do more than anything else right now.

You were drunk, he knew this, he shouldn’t even allow you to touch him right now.

Your hands were caressing his stomach and when he leaned back you took the opportunity to slowly and softly kiss his neck.  
Any resolve he had was fading and his hands were softly stroking your lower back, holding you close to him while he leaned into your kisses.

‘Fuck, I want you,’ he breathed in a desperate sigh.

‘I want you too, I want you so bad, Seb,’ you moaned and felt him finally move his hips, thrusting up against you while he held you down on his cock.

He was breathing hard and meeting every roll of your hips with a thrust of his own. Your panties were completely soaked by now.

‘I need to feel you,’ you laced your fingers with his and led his hand underneath your dress and into your panties.

The temptation was too much and Sebastian didn’t hesitate. His hand disappeared under the thin fabric and he slowly rubbed your folds, spreading your wetness and making slow circles on your clit.

The way you whimpered his name drove him crazy. He wanted to get rid of every piece of clothing between the both of you. He needed you completely naked, underneath him and moaning just like this. Fuck.

But his mind was screaming at him to stop, it wasn’t right, not like this. You would both regret this in the morning and things would never go back to normal.   
He couldn’t let this happen, you would hate him for this.

But you were so close to your climax, grinding yourself against his hand and breathing hard into his mouth, begging him for it. How could he refuse you? He wanted to give you everything you craved and more.

There was no way he was going to stop.

But much to his surprise you suddenly grabbed his hand and pushed it away.

‘Not yet,’ you bit your lip and tried not to give into your impending orgasm, no matter how badly you needed it,’ not like this, I want to come with you inside me.’

His hands sank down to cup your ass, massaging it softly while he leaned his forehead against yours. His mouth opened to speak but he stuttered when the words were supposed to come out.

HIs face was completely flushed and his breath heavy against yours.

‘Fuck me, Sebastian,’ you fumbled with his belt but this time he was the one to stop you.

‘Please, please,’ he begged,’ You’re so drunk, you don’t really want this.’

‘I know what I want,’ you whispered.

Sebastian wanted to protest again but it came out as just another moan when your hand sank down between his legs, rubbing his hardness through his pants,’ Oh fuck…oh god, don’t do that…’

‘Please fuck me,’ you were begging him now,’ make me scream like all those other girls, Seb, I want to know what it feels like, I need to know…I need you inside me.’

Sebastian could feel his brain shutting down completely, he was almost past the point of no return, all he could think about now was how it would feel to be buried deep inside of your warmth. He knew if you kept rubbing him like that he would shoot off right there in his pants.

‘Are you going to make me beg for it?’ you asked, you were getting a little annoyed at his sudden resistance,’ Do you not want me?’

He pulled you closer and cupped your face with both hands, forcing you to look into his eyes. Your dark eyes clearly had trouble staying focussed on him and he could feel your body tremble in his arms.

And just like that the decision he had to make became easy.

‘I want you more than you will ever know, darlin’,’ he sighed,’ but you don’t know what you’re doing right now.’

He grabbed your hand and pulled it away from his cock. You let out a disappointed grunt and pouted your lips at him, the loss of your hand almost made him whimper but he held it together.

‘I can’t let you do this, I’d never forgive myself,’ he continued and he added with a little smile,’ you would never forgive me.’

You crawled from his lap and leaned back against the couch. Your head was pounding and you suddenly felt very tired.

‘You’re going to regret this, buddy,’ you pointed your finger at him and closed your eyes while you leaned back into the couch.

‘Oh, I already do,’ he sighed and shook his head in a little smile.

If he was a stronger man he would have helped you up and put you into your own bed, but he was afraid to touch you again. Afraid he wouldn’t be able to stop himself twice so he took the blanket and covered you with it after you lied down on the couch.

‘Go to sleep, with any luck you won’t remember any of this in the morning.’

You mumbled something back to him he couldn’t understand and he left the room.

 

***

 

Sebastian made his way to the bathroom and let out another heavy sigh, he needed a shower, an ice cold one.   
He turned on the water and dropped his clothes to the floor, still shaking his head in disbelief about what happened tonight while he stepped into the shower and closed the curtain.

It didn’t take long for his hand to wrap around his cock, stroking it gently. His erection was still as hard as it had been when you were on top of him just a few minutes ago.   
It only took him a few seconds to pick up his pace and the long gentle strokes turned into uncontrolled tugging. He leaned back against the shower wall, trying his best to bite back the moans he’d been fighting all night.

He could still feel you moving on his cock, the wetness of you, your moans against his neck, how you begged him to fuck you and fill you up, so wet and warm and oh so tight…

‘Ahhh…fuck, fuck…oh god fuck,’ he couldn’t keep quiet any longer when he pushed himself over the edge and spilled all over his own hand.

 

***

 

Bright sunlight peaked through the windows the next morning, waking you up way too early. You let out a deep grunt and tried to cover your eyes to block it but it didn’t help much.  
The sun was up and getting back to sleep would be impossible unless you got up and closed the blinds, which seemed like an impossible task right now.

You tried to sit up but as soon as you moved your head started to pound, and your stomach didn’t feel all that well either. 

Why were you on the couch? Wearing the same clothes you had on last night?

Last night…

It came back to you in pieces, the party, the struggle to get home, the alcohol. Oh there had been so much alcohol. And Sebastian. 

You remembered him being here, on the couch with you. 

As you processed the images in your head the whole night was put back together like a puzzle and suddenly you remembered everything, every little embarrassing detail…

‘Oh fuck no,’ you buried your head into the pillow and let out a frustrated silent scream.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The awkward morning after and what happens when Sebastian is the one who gets drunk?

Sebastian peeked his head around the corner of his bedroom door before carefully stepping out into the living room.   
He was relieved to find the couch empty. He’d been hoping you already left for class so he could avoid the confrontation this morning. 

But he found you standing by the kitchen sink drinking from your Harry Potter coffee mug. Your wet hair curling over your shoulders and wearing nothing but a jeans and a small top.

‘Good morning,’ his voice came out a little hesitant.

You instantly turned away from him, unable to look him in the eyes. He noticed the blush crawling up on your cheeks and the way your body tensed up.

‘Is everything okay?’ he asked.

‘Please stay away from me. Oh god, I can’t even look at you right now,’ you covered your face with your hands and turned your back to him,’ I am so embarrassed, Sebastian, and I’m so, so sorry about last night.’

‘Ah, so you remember,’ there was a hint of a smile in his tone.

‘Sadly, yes.’

‘There is absolutely nothing to be sorry for though,’ he reassured you.

He was pacing behind you, trying to get you to face him but you kept turning away, until he carefully took your hand and forced you to turn around,’ Hey, look at me.’

You looked up into his blue eyes. His heart sank when he saw your bloodshot eyes and the worried look on your face.

‘You don’t have to feel embarrassed,’ he tried to comfort you.

‘How can I not?’ you pulled your hand out of his and shook your head,’ I practically jumped you!’

‘And who could blame you?’ he gave you a mischievous little grin, trying to lighten the mood and make you feel better but it was having the opposite effect.

‘Please don’t joke about this,’ you sighed.

‘It was the alcohol,’ he then spoke more seriously,’ That wasn’t you, I know that wasn’t you, and I know what alcohol can do, okay. I would never ever judge you for that.’  
His eyes came to rest on yours and for the first time you didn’t look away, the look on his face was concerned and caring.

‘Seb,’ you whispered and sighed,’ Thank you…for not…you know, letting me make an even bigger fool of myself.’

Sebastian had to fight the urge to just wrap his arms around you and pull you close, but instead he just took your hand again.

‘I would never let you do something you didn’t want to do,’ he gave you one of his sweet smiles and gently put a stray lock of hair behind your ear.   
It was such a small intimate gesture, not something you were used to from him and you shivered at the contact.

‘You didn’t make it easy on me though,’ he added.

You both stayed quiet while his thumb softly caressed your cheek.

‘I’m sorry,’ you apologized again. You didn’t know what else to say, he was so close to you and part of you wanted out of this moment right now while the other part wanted it to last forever.

‘There’s no need, it was just the alcohol, right?’ he then asked.

You were drowning in his blue eyes and the question lingered between the both of you. 

Had it just been the alcohol? The way you threw herself at him was definitely caused by the alcohol, but the way you felt about him, how much you wanted him…that had been there long before you ever took that first drink. 

But this was Sebastian, womanizer Sebastian, who had a different girl every night. He didn’t want a girlfriend, he just wanted sex and no strings and he never wanted the same girl twice.   
And even if the idea of casual sex with him turned you on, could you really do that and then go back to seeing him bring other girls into the apartment and fucking them right there in his room next to yours?   
You weren’t that girl. It would hurt you way too much. 

Besides, your heart was already in it, that meant no strings was definitely off the table, you were better off just staying friends.

‘Right?’ Sebastian asked again, clearly waiting for an answer from you.

‘Right,’ you shook your head and rolled your eyes, forcing yourself to stop dreaming and get back into your role,’ Of course it was the alcohol, Sebastian, seriously? I’m in no need of becoming one of your groupies, can you give me some credit here?’

And with those words you stepped back from him, turning back to the sink and missing the disappointed look on his face.

‘Yeah, of course,’ he sighed softly,’ alright…well, I’m late for class, I’ll see you later.’

Before you could say another word he was out of the kitchen and through the front door, leaving you alone with your frustration and disappointment, and this horrible headache that didn’t seem to go away.

For the first time in months you didn’t feel like going to class and wanted nothing more than to crawl back into bed.

 

***

 

Since you didn’t have any important classes that day you did exactly that and slept till late that afternoon. After waking up your stomach felt a lot better but the shame and frustration was still there.

When Mel called a little later you pretended the whole night was a blur and you didn’t remember anything except falling asleep on the couch. You couldn’t bear to tell her what happened with Sebastian.

He walked into the apartment that night to find you on the couch, still wallowing in self pity while you were browsing Netflix.

‘I see you’ve had a productive day?’ he smirked and grabbed a drink from the fridge before dropping down on the couch next to you.

‘Fuck off,’ you sighed,’ I haven’t missed a class all year, I deserve one day of lying around and wallowing.’

‘You do, it’s just not something I’m used to seeing from you.’

‘It’s just a hangover, it’ll pass. I have to see you like this all the time, you know, you don’t hear me complaining.’

‘Actually you do, you complain all the time,’ he rolled his eyes at you but the smile curling his lips was genuine and you smiled back at him.

God that smile was gorgeous, you wished he’d stop.

‘So what’s the plan?’ he then asked,’ You’re gonna stay on the couch all night?’

‘Yep.’

‘Do you want some company?’

His question shook you and you didn’t know how to answer for a moment. 

Of course there had been nights like that before where you had both ended up sharing the couch binge watching the same show all night long and eating take out, but it was never something you actively planned.   
He never asked to keep you company before during the entire time you shared an apartment.

‘Wow, don’t hold back on that enthusiasm there,’ he smirked and you realized you were still staring at him without having answered his question.

‘Sorry,’ you shook your head,’ I didn’t mean to…’

‘Hey, it’s alright, I get it,’ he smiled so warmly his entire face lit up.

God you really wished he’d stop that.

He moved closer to you and put his hand on your knee. ‘I mean it though,’ he then spoke softly,’ I can stay and keep you company, we can watch Stranger Things again and order some pizza.’

His eyes looked so soft and sincere. You wanted to say yes, of course you wanted to say yes, but you know you shouldn’t.

‘No, Sebastian, it’s fine, I don’t want you to give up your night for me, I know Logan has that thing tonight and you always go.’

‘I can skip it,’ he answered quickly,’ Just say the word.’

His eyes locked with yours and his hand was softly caressing your knee now, he probably wasn’t even aware he was doing it.

‘Just ask me to stay and I’ll stay,’ he asked softly while looking so deep into your eyes you thought you would melt under his gaze.

Yes, stay. Please stay, put your arms around me and stay.

But the words you spoke sounded more like this:’ No, I’m fine, go to your party, that’s what you want, right?’

He hesitated, not sure whether you expected an answer or not.

‘Right?’ you repeated.

He opened his mouth but no words came out.

You sighed,’ Just go. I’d rather be alone anyway.’

‘Alright,’ he sighed,’ I guess I’ll go where I’m wanted.’

He moved from the couch and disappeared into his bedroom and half an hour later out the front door.  
You leaned back into the couch and sighed deeply.

Why couldn’t you just get over this stupid crush on him? He was just one guy, there were so many guys out there, you had a whole campus to choose from.

Several minutes later, as if she had read your mind, Mel sent you a text message:’ Party at my dorm tonight, there’s no better cure for a hangover than getting yourself a new one!’

You couldn’t help but smile while you texted back: ‘That’s absolute bullshit.’

She answered quickly,’ We have soda too and alcohol free beer, I think. And men, lots of men, get your ass over here.’

You smiled and hesitated. You didn’t really feel like dressing up and going out tonight but then the alternative was to sit here all night by yourself. You didn’t really feel like doing that either.   
It took you another half hour to finally decide and get dressed. 

Maybe a party surrounded by lots of people, none of which were Sebastian, was exactly what you needed to take your mind off last night.

One thing was sure though, you definitely weren’t touching any alcohol tonight.

 

***

 

Sebastian made his way through the crowd with a drink in his hand, the music was loud, the crowd even louder. They all seemed to be having the night of their life but for some reason he just couldn’t get into it tonight.

He knew what that reason was and she was sitting on the couch in his apartment, alone.

He didn’t even want to be at this stupid party right now, but you were so quick to turn down his offer he just wanted to flee the apartment as soon as possible after that, before he made things even more awkward.

He took another sip from his drink and tried to let the music soothe his mood. This place was filled with beautiful girls, any other night he would have just found someone to distract him and have a good time but he knew that wouldn’t work tonight.   
There was only one girl on his mind and she wasn’t here. 

He finished his drink and put it down on one of the tables before he started heading for the exit. But as he made his way further along the dance floor he noticed you. He would have recognized those legs anywhere. 

You were unaware of him, unaware of anything around you other than the music. You swayed along to the beat, eyes closed and arms lifted above your head while you danced.   
Sebastian was hypnotized by the way your body moved in that short black dress, showing off every curve, your hips curling so seductively several men had their eyes on you.  
He never even knew you could move like that.

The little carefree smile on your face warmed his heart, he had never seen you let loose like this, not worried about what people might think of you for a change.   
In that moment you seemed completely free, happy, confident and more beautiful than he had ever seen you.

He was unable to look away, butterflies in his stomach and something else stirring a little lower.

‘Fuck I’m in so much trouble,’ he sighed.

He walked a little closer but kept his distance, he didn’t want to startle you, knowing he was probably the last person you would expect to see here.   
Come to think of it, he was probably the last person you wanted to see here.

That thought almost made him turn around but then he noticed he wasn’t the only one moving closer to you.  
Two other guys, who weren’t very subtle in eyeing you, were slowly moving in closer too, while they made comments to each other, laughing and licking their lips with a horny grin on their faces.  
Sebastian felt his stomach turn and without thinking he walked up to them before they reached you. 

He put his hands on their shoulders and gave them a friendly nod.

‘Hey guys, I’m sorry but she’s already taken, okay, best move on,’ he kept his tone calm and light, hoping the friendly approach would be enough to discourage them but on the inside he was fighting the urge to punch them in their faces.

‘I don’t see your name on her, mate,’ one of the guys raised his hands and shook his head.

‘Maybe we should ask her what she wants,’ the other one spoke while he stared Sebastian in the face, challenging him with a smug grin on his face.

‘Maybe you two should just fuck off!’ this time he was unable to keep his voice calm and he pushed one guy against the chest to force him to back off.

You were so lost in the music it took you a few minutes to see that some guys were about to start a fight and that one of them was Sebastian.   
You stopped dancing and walked up to them,’ Sebastian, what’s going on?’

All three guys looked at you and the fighting stopped instantly.

‘What happened to Logan’s party?’ you asked.

‘All the girls are here tonight so we moved,’ Sebastian explained, he was avoiding looking you in the eyes.

‘Right’, you sighed.

‘Hey,’ one of the other guys spoke and stepped closer to you, reaching out his hand,’ Hi, I’m Ryan, sorry about this, we were just debating on who would get to dance with you.’

You shook his hand but raised your eye brow,’ Who would get to dance with me? By the looks of this silly fight you had going on, none of you.’

‘Your…friend here seemed to imply that you were taken,’ Ryan explained.

‘Oh, did he now?’ this time your eyes shot towards Sebastian who was now looking down at the floor as if he was hoping it would open up and swallow him.

‘Sebastian?’ you asked,’ What’s going on here?’

Sebastian was uncharacteristically quiet, you waited for him to give you one of his sassy answers but it didn’t come. He just shook his head and sighed and he still seemed afraid to look you in the eyes. 

‘Is this guy with you or not?’ Ryan asked,’ Because if he’s not I’d really love to offer you a drink, as an apology for us acting like idiots.’

‘An apology won’t fix that,’ you shook your head and flashed him a fake smile,’ but thank you for the offer. Could you leave us alone?’

They both stepped back and left you standing alone with Sebastian, who finally seemed to find his voice again,’ I didn’t think you’d be going out after last night.’

‘I’m not drinking,’ you replied, a little annoyed at his comment,’ Mel invited me. Why were you fighting with those guys?’

He just looked at you without answering the question, the beat of the loud music was the only thing breaking the awkward silence between you two.

‘Sebastian?’ you asked impatiently.

‘It’s nothing, they were looking at you funny and I didn’t like it.’

‘I don’t need you to fight my battles for me.’

He could hear the irritated tone in your voice and shook his head,’ That’s not what this was about, I…I just…I got j…it’s…’

You shook your head and laughed,’ My god, how much have you been drinking tonight? I don’t think I’ve never seen you this tongue tied before, do you need me to walk you home?’

The mocking tone in your voice killed the last bit of courage he had to finish his sentence and he shook his head.

You sighed,’ Look, I came out here to dance tonight, I just want to be left alone, by all guys, that includes you. I’ll see you back at the apartment, okay.’

You turned your back to him and disappeared into the rest of the crowd on the dance floor.

He wanted to kick himself. He’d never looked like such an ass with a girl before and this was the stuff he was usually good at, chasing off annoying guys and then swooping in to win over the girl. Worked like a charm every time, but with you he couldn’t even form one coherent sentence. 

You blamed it on the alcohol but the truth was he only had two beers and was completely sober. He just couldn’t get the words out, the words he so desperately wanted to say to you.

Fuck this, he might as well get drunk.

 

***

 

You hated how blunt you’d been to Sebastian, this was twice now in one day you basically told him to fuck off and leave you alone. What was wrong with you? It was the complete opposite of what you wanted.

Why were you so scared? He didn’t freak out the night before, in fact he’d been a very willing participant, you didn’t remember all the details but you remembered that much. He only stopped because you were his friend and he wanted to do the right thing. 

You suddenly felt very guilty for being so cold to him tonight and you turned around to return to the spot where you left him. Of course Sebastian was no longer there.  
You sighed defeated.

‘Hey,’ Mel tapped you on the shoulder,’ That’s not the face of someone who’s having a good time, what happened?’

‘Nothing,’ you sighed,’ just…some guy.’

‘We’re not gonna let our night get ruined by some guy, aren’t we?’ she gave you an encouraging smile and put her arm around your shoulder, pulling you with her and back onto the dance floor,’ because there are plenty of guys out here tonight looking to lift your mood.’

You smiled but you really wanted to get out of the crowd and look for Sebastian.

‘I have some friends I want you to meet,’ Mel continued.

You hesitated.

‘Wallowing over a guy who isn’t here or a chance at some fun with those of us who are?’ she stepped back to let you decide,’ What do you say, babe?’

She danced along to the music and raised her eye brows.

‘Fine,’ you caved with a smile,’ Introduce me to your friends.’

 

***

 

Mel’s friends were a small group of both guys and girls, all equally friendly as they welcomed you in their group. It was nice to not be alone on the dance floor anymore and you actually managed to have fun.

But Sebastian was still in the back of your mind, you wondered if he’d gone home or was still hanging around here. Maybe he’d found another willing victim and was on his way home with her right now, putting his hands on her and kissing her the way you wished he would kiss you. 

You tried to push that thought out of your mind.

‘I’m gonna get us some drinks,’ Mel shouted over the music.

‘I’ll help you carry,’ you followed her off the dance floor and towards the bar. You only made it halfway when someone suddenly grabbed your hand and pulled you back onto the dance floor. You opened your mouth to protest but shut it immediately when you looked into a set of familiar blue eyes. 

Sebastian pulled you towards him while he moved his hips to the music, keeping your hand firmly in his.

‘Sebastian,’ you sighed.

‘Dance with me.’

‘You don’t dance,’ you shook your head and laughed.

‘I do tonight,’ he grinned.

‘How are you even still standing? You are so fucking drunk.’

‘I’m not, I’m not, I’m not drunk!’

He was lying this time, he hadn’t been this drunk in a while and that was saying something.

‘You are so drunk,’ you repeated.

‘Maybe so but you are so beautiful.’

His words stunned you both for a few seconds. He let go of your hand and wrapped his arm around your waist to pull you closer, leaning his forehead against yours, still moving his body to the music. You’d never been this close to him before. Well, not while you were sober anyway. 

He smelled of booze and something fresh like aftershave or shampoo. And his eyes, my god those deep blue eyes were even more mesmerizing staring down into yours.

‘You are so beautiful,’ he repeated and he pulled you into a hug and buried his face against your shoulder. 

You wrapped your arms around his neck to hug him back when he giggled. He actually giggled. You never even knew he was capable of making those sounds.

Of course. The first time he chose to actually hug you was when he was drunk off his ass. Fucking typical.

Sebastian kept his arms around you while you both moved to the music. His embrace felt so amazing you didn’t want him to let go, but at the same time you knew this moment meant nothing at all and that thought made you want to pull back and just push him away.

After a while you leaned back to look at him,’ Sebastian, I’m gonna call you a cab so you can go home, okay?’

‘No,’ he protested and pulled you back into the hug, even tighter this time,’ No, no, no, not going anywhere without you.’

You sighed but couldn’t help but smile, or ignore the butterflies in your stomach when he softly nuzzled your cheek.

‘Stay with me,’ he whispered,’ please.’

You closed your eyes for a little while, allowing yourself to enjoy this moment, even if it didn’t mean anything. 

Right now Sebastian was holding you like you were the only person in this world that mattered to him. His hands caressing your back, his body pressed up against yours and his warm breath against your face while he still kept begging you to stay with him in that sweet, low voice that drove you crazy.

You hugged him back and let your fingers play with the back of his hair, his lips curled into a happy smile.

You knew not to trust his actions, you knew it was the alcohol, it had to be. 

Then again after last night you knew first hand how alcohol could bring up feelings that were already there.   
But you couldn’t allow yourself to hope. Could you?

But then, as if he had sensed your doubt and decided to end it right there, Sebastian whispered your name and spoke the words that made you melt into a puddle:’ I’m so completely in love with you.’


End file.
